Day 48

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February 10th, 2013- Some days the recovery is harder than the treatment. I had a pretty boring morning but the afternoon brought on a lot of issues with my various maintenance routines. I was hooked up to my antibiotic again and as it finished I started feeling a very similar reaction to what I had yesterday. Benadryl fixed things again but everyone is rather confused by the whole situation. I got the antibiotic in the middle of the night without issue so it is hard to say what was different this afternoon. Regardless, they have stopped the maintenance doses and will start me on a new type if necessary. I was of course very tired this evening thanks to the benadryl but was given a bit less this time so I was able to fight it off a bit better.

I have continued to be achy all over and after my evening booster shot it got really bad. It was almost as bad as when I first got here and it was so hard to continue thinking of this as something that was helping me. I get so upset every evening when the shot is brought in because I know that worse pain will follow shortly. Oddly enough tylenol helps more than some of the heavy pain medicines because it attempts to soothe the inflammation as opposed to just masking the hurt. I continue to tell myself it is getting me home to Bryce and better sooner but I just want one good day in here, this has been going on for so long without respite. I am having the usual chest tightness as I write this and cannot wait for that to fade away as well.

Bryce had another happy visit today and I had the most special moment with him this afternoon. He didn’t sleep on the way here so I got to have my son sleep against me for the first time in what seems like forever. I was so overwhelmed with joy and I never wanted it to end. With him in my arms I could take on anything, it’s just too bad he can’t stay there the entire time I am in here. My reaction to the antibiotic of course happened at the end of Bryce’s visit so I had to say goodbye without walking him to sleep. It was lucky to have him around both times to help me focus on getting past the feeling and giving me a good distraction.

The most perfect moment on earth.

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Reading stories to Bryce.

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More stories with daddy too.

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4 thoughts on “Day 48

  1. Hi Diana…I am certainly not a friend, but if I were, I would definitely be sending you this poem I wrote.
    I would like to think that those who are there to support you and love you would want these words embedded in your heart and soul through your incredible fight.

    Sure hope it brightens at least one moment in your day.

    I wrote this for a dear friend, and realized I should share it with everyone special in my world…
    You have a friend…
    Someone who may not have the power to remove the chaos in your life, but certainly wishes they could…
    Who recognizes you need some sort of relief, so here goes….

    Every person alive knows, that there is always one minute in every day, that for some unknown reason, a feeling of quiet sets in your mind…Most never recognize it, and just let that moment pass without understanding….
    That is a moment you need to make time for…
    It is a moment that someone who cares about you, thought about you today, and asked God to to fill your heart with peace knowing how very special you are…
    23 hours and 59 minutes of a day, you can run, dwell and cope, but if you can remind yourself to stop, close your eyes and seriously savor that one moment…
    You will feel a sense of calm in your heart and mind, knowing that someone special asked God to give you that EXACT moment……
    So my friend, take a minute….focus only on that one moment..
    The craziness of life will be there waiting, and although it may not change anything…
    You can always say….

    “You took a moment”

    Wishing you strength and courage !!
    We are all cheering for you!!

    Sincerely,
    Kimmie from Canada!! (aka…this little light of mine)

  2. There is nothing so sweet in the world as holding your sleeping child. I cannot even imagine how weary you must feel, but know that you are doing an amazing job! Praying that you feel some relief soon.

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