February 17th, 2013- Today was a good day at home but there are still many challenges. I am definitely still overdoing things and my body is starting to complain. My left ankle is has begun to hurt and has gotten pretty painful tonight to the point that it is hard to walk. I am still trying to be a part of every second with Bryce but David is doing his best to help us both and let me slow things down. The feeling of being a bit helpless has come back while at home with so many things that should be simple that I am unable to do. I still have a lot of weakness, especially in my legs, and it is nearly impossible for me to get up from the ground, where Bryce often hangs out. I continue to remind myself that everything will improve even if it happens slowly. Hearing Bryce laugh or seeing him smile is enough to make me fight harder and harder. Tomorrow is my bone marrow biopsy which will be checking to see if I am in remission this time around, please pray very hard tonight. Having the biopsy done for the first time in clinic has me extremely nervous but I will get through it. They said the results will take a few days so I will keep positive until then.
Bryce is sitting up extremely well on his own and played for a long time while sitting without help. Now we need to work on getting him up and rocking on his hands and knees to prepare him for crawling. Bryce is now taking a lot of good naps throughout the day without having to travel to see us, but it is definitely different listening to him work to soothe himself. He has proven that he naps so much longer now that he puts himself to sleep but I miss having him fall asleep in my arms for sure. It usually takes less than a minute for him to get to sleep but I watch every heart wrenching second. I will miss Bryce tons during my clinic visit tomorrow.