Day 60

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February 22nd, 2013- I definitely wore myself out today both physically and emotionally. I tried to get outside a little bit to really make the most of the few days I have before going back into the hospital. My mom took me out to lunch to a nearby place and we tried to keep me as separate as possible since I have to take my mask off to eat. I also went to look at wigs to see what size might fit but it appears that I may need a pretty small size that they didn’t have at the time. I was really worn out by the time we got home and I think being so tired made me extra emotional. I have been so happy about being in remission and being home that the pending return to the hospital really hit me today. I am stressed about continued inpatient treatment and then the long stay for transplant not to mention still feeling like I haven’t yet won. David wouldn’t let me stay down for long though and quickly used some tactical Bryce time to remind me that I have so much love around me and more than enough reasons to fight this disease. I know that even after transplant it will be hard to get the fear from the back of my mind but continuing to focus on the positives of each day and a bit of time I believe I will get through it all, not to mention a big dose of faith.

Bryce was a joy today and as always managed to be the perfect dose of laughter to keep me going. He was a bit of a handful towards the evening because he didn’t take a third nap today but he quickly improved after his feeding time. We fed him solids just before we ate dinner and he sat with us during our dinner in his high chair. At the end he started chewing on one of his toys and making loud grunting sounds, uh oh, and we knew we were in for a large present. We let him finish but when we went to change him he had exploded out of the front and back of his diaper! A quick attempt at getting him clean found him kicking and swinging his arms into places they shouldn’t be so we opted for a nice rinse and relaxing bath time. Oh the things I find funny now that I have a son. I couldn’t stop laughing as David attempted to get Bryce as clean as possible while I helped keep his hands out of his mouth, Bryce’s not David’s hands. After his bath we fed him his last bottle and he fell asleep as he finished the last drop. I cannot believe how easy going he can be and how lucky I am to have such an amazing little man.

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One thought on “Day 60

  1. Diana I am just so happy to hear you are in remission and even though it is tiring for you, I am glad you have had this out time with your precious family. I agree with your husband that u have so much to live for and YOU CAN DO THIS. Just take one day at a time and Trust God for all your needs and concerns. He is walking beside you Diana and when things get tough just cry out to him. That is what I do. It helps so much. I can’t believe it but I still have my hair. I have so little hair to begin with (short and thin) that I thought I would lose it right away. I haven’t even thought much about wigs etc. I have a couple stocking caps and some girlfriends brought me up some cute funky ball caps. Oh well we will see. I don’t know if you know, but my first round of Chemo did not put me into any kind of remission. They were really hesitant to try again because I have Fungal Pneumonia and my age but to do nothing would mean hospice care for the 30 or so days I would have left. That was just unexceptable to me as I am a fighter by nature and of very strong faith. They finally did another 3 day round of 4 chemo drugs which ended yesterday. Now the long wait for the bone marrow biopsy. Please pray I get into remission this go around. I think the doctors were amazed at how well I have done. I am not amazed, as I serve an amazing God who is much bigger than this cancer. PTL! I have not been able to find u on FB via your email address or name. I even had my 20 yr old nieces try to help me and they couldn’t find u either. Is there someway else to locate u? I am listed as Cheryl Wakefield Griffin so maybe you can friend me and we can do it that way. If you want to follow my progress on Caring Bridge just go to caringbridge.org and type in my name cherylgriffin2. Take care Diana and know I am praying for you. Love, Cheryl

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